Saturday, 12 May 2012
The Radium Dance
Friday, 10 September 2010
Wednesday, 11 March 2009
A Function of the Time - reminder
As the number of research students grew at the Cavendish Laboratory in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, so did their collective sense of social and professional identity. At their annual dinner, the research students sang humorous songs specially written by members of the laboratory to well-known tunes or airs, or even Gilbert and Sullivan numbers. With teasing affection, gentle parody and witty wordplay, the songs celebrated the scientific work and social life of the laboratory, its exemplary past achievements and its iconic figures. This talk will show how the ‘Postprandial Proceedings of the Cavendish Society’ helped constitute the research community, and will explore what the songs reveal about the culture of the Cavendish Laboratory and Cambridge physics in the ‘string and sealing wax’ era of Rayleigh, Thomson and Rutherford.
The 'HPS chorus' will be singing 'Ions Mine', 'Isotopes', and 'hv' as part of his presentation.
The museum will open from 5.30 with the talk beginning at 6 - you are advised to arrive early to ensure a place.
This event is also part of the Cambridge Science Festival.
"hv"
1. All black body radiations,
All the spectrum variations,
All atomic oscillations
Vary as "hv."
Chorus:
Here's the right relation
Governs radiation,
Here's the new,
And only true,
Electrodynamical equation;
Never mind your d/dt2,
Ve or half mv2
(If you watch the factor "c2")
"'s" equal to "hv."
2. Ultraviolet vibrations,
X and gamma ray pulsations,
Ordinary light sensations
All obey "hv."
3. Even in matters calorific,
Such things as the heat specific
Yield to treatment scientific
If you use "hv."
4. In all questions energetic
Whether static or kinetic,
Or electric, or magnetic,
You must use "hv."
5. There would be a mighty clearance,
We should all be Planck's adherants,
Were it not that interference
Still defines "hv."
G.S.
The Postprandial Proceedings of the Cavendish Society, pp. 25-26.
Isotopes
As sung at the Cavendish Dinner, Feb. 24th, 1923.
1. Since J.J. on the game began
By analysing Neon,
Many a speculative man
Had isotopic thoughts which ran
Beyond a paper's rightful span,
So this did all agree on -
It needs a man both strong and stout
These isotopes to sever;
Of this there is no possible doubt,
No probable, possible shadow of doubt,
No possible doubt whatever.
2. So Aston made a cute "machine"
For atom separations.
The atoms passed through fields serene,
Magnetic poles they went between,
And made some marks upon a screen,
Apart from their relations.
The numbers whole were soon made out
By methods neat and clever;
Of this there was no manner of doubt,
No probable, possible shadow of doubt,
No possible doubt whatever.
3. Then isotopes of every kind
Grew more in number daily,
And Aston thrust all he could find
Before the harassed and reeling mind
Of a sympathetic but dazed mankind
Most casually and gaily.
The rule of numbers whole to flout
He made his next endeavour;
Of this there's now no manner of doubt,
No probable, possible shadow of doubt,
No possible doubt whatever.
4. Now Christmas time was drawing near,
And as Nobel Prize winner,
For Stockholm soon he had to clear,
(Then he followed the trade of a mountaineer),
And now we're all glad we've got him here
To cheer him at our Dinner.
"He's a jolly good fellow!" Then let us shout
In louder tones than ever -
Of this there is no possible doubt,
No probable, possible shadow of doubt,
No possible doubt whatever.
E.C.S.
The Postprandial Proceedings of the Cavendish Society, pp. 32-33.
Saturday, 7 March 2009
Jolly Old Sigmund Freud
I went to my psychiatrist
To be psychoanalyzed
To find out why I killed the cat
And blacked my husband's eyes.
He laid me on a downy couch
To see what he could find,
So this is what he dredge-ed up
From my subconscious mind:
chorus
Hey, libido, bats in the belfry, hey, libido, bats in the belfry,
Hey, libido, bats in the belfry, jolly Old Sigmund Freud!
When I was one, my mommy hid
My dolly in a trunk,
And so it follows naturally
That I am always drunk.
When I was two, I saw my father
Kiss the maid one day,
And that is why I suffer now
From kleptomania[y].
chorus
At three, I had the feeling of
Ambivalence towards my brothers,
And so it follows naturally
I poisoned all my lovers.
But I am happy; now I've learned
The lesson this has taught;
That everything I do that's wrong -
Is someone else's fault.
chorus
Anna Russell
Friday, 20 February 2009
A Function of the Time - The Cavendish Society and its Postprandial Proceedings

Thursday 12th March, 5.30-7pm, talk at 6pm
Whipple Museum of the History of Science, Free School Lane, Cambridge
A century ago, students in the Cavendish Laboratory wrote and sang humorous songs about science at their annual dinner, to well-known tunes. This talk will explore what the proceedings reveal about the culture of the Cambridge physics research community, and will include performances of these songs by the HPS chorus.
Further details on the Whipple Museum pages here, and the Cambridge Science Festival pages here.
The Radium Atom
I. A radium atom was dying,
And just ere it burst up for aye,
Corpuscles, which round it were flying,
These last dying words heard it say –
Chorus: Oh, I am a radium atom,
In pitchblende I first saw the day,
But soon I shall turn into helium:
My energy’s wasting away.
2. About the laborat’ry latterly
I always have seemed in the way;
I’ve worried both Campbell and Satterly*
And many bad things made them say.
3. I often have got in a frenzy,
As down in the cellar I lay,
Being tortured by Huff or Mackenzie§
Deflecting my poor α ray.
4. The theories about my interior
Proposed by the men of to-day,
Would make me appear quite inferior –
A crowd of corpuscles at play.
5. When wishing to be in the fashion
My γ corpuscle they slay,
And state that, according to Paschen, †
‘Tis merely a swift β ray.
6. Through me they say life was created
Any animals formed out of clay,
With bouillon I’m told I was mated
And started the life of to-day.‡
7. To build up my weak constitution
I’m trusting myself to J. J.,
He’ll get the most truthful solution
Of all who have entered the fray.
8. My temperature’s very unsteady,
I’m losing in weight every day;
But if the end’s near I am ready, -
At least, life’s been lengthy and gay!
F.H.
*N.R. Campbell and J. Satterly , On the use and abuse of radioactive needles for delicate electrometers, Proc. Cav. Lab., Oct. and Nov., 1904.
§A.S. Mackenzie, Phil. Mag., vol. 10, p. 538, 1905.
†PASCHEN, Physikalische Zeitschrift, Vol. 5, p. 563, 1904.
‡Daily Chronicle, June, July and August, 19045; Punch, July 12, 1905.
From The Postprandial Proceedings of the Cavendish Physical Society (1911 fourth edition), pp. 6-7.
An Alpha Ray
Air: “A Jovial Monk”
I. An alpha ray was I, contended with my lot;
From Radium C
I was set free,
And outwards I was shot.
My speed I quickly reckoned,
As I flew off through space,
Ten thousand miles per second
Is not a trifling pace!
For an alpha ray
Goes a good long way
In a short time t,
As you easily see,
Though I don’t know why
My speed’s so high,
Or why I bear a charge 2e.
2. And in my wild career, as swiftly on I flew,
A rarefied gas
Wouldn’t let me pass,
But I pushed my way right through.
I had some lively tussles
To make it ionize,
But I set the small corpuscles
A-buzzing round like flies.
For an alpha ray
Hasn’t time to stay
While a trifling mass
Of expanded gas,
That stands in awe
Of Maxwell’s law,
Obstructs the road when I want to pass.
3. An electroscope looked on, as I made that gas conduct;
Beneath the field
The gas did yield
And the leaf was greatly “bucked.”
But in my exultation
I lost my senses clean,
And I made a scintillation
As I struck a zinc-blende screen
For an alpha ray
Makes a weird display
With fluorescence green
On a zinc-blende screen
When the room’s quite dark,
You see a spark
That marks the spot where I have been.
4. But now I’m settled down, and move about quite slow;
For I, alas,
Am helium gas
Since I got that dreadful blow.
But though I’m feeling sickly,
Still no one now denies,
That I ran that race so quickly
I’ve won a Nobel Prize.
For an alpha ray
Is a thing to pay,
And a Nobel Prize
One can not despise,
And Rutherford
Has greatly scored,
As all the world now recognise.
A.A.R.
From The Post-Prandial Proceedings of the Cavendish Physical Society (1911 4th edition), pp. 14-15.
My Name is J.J. Thomson...
I. My name is J.J. Thomson and my lab’s in Free School Lane,
If once a man has been inside he’s sure to come again,
Here some do play with Töpler pumps, and some with liquid air,
And some do play the giddy goat, but that’s not here nor there.
Chorus:
Oh! J. J. Thomson, J. J. Tra-la-la-la,
Sir Joseph Thomson, Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la,
My name is J. J. Thomson, and my lab’s in Free School Lane,
There’s no professor like J. J. my students all maintain,
I’ve been here six and twenty years, and here I shall remain,
For all the boys just worship me at my lab. in Free School Lane.
2. I’ve got a lot of two volt cells that sometimes need repair,
I’ve got some electrometers that sometimes make me swear;
But when I’m sure a leak’s not due to ultra-violet light,
I hand the thing to Everett, who always puts it right.
3. When once or twice a week I go to play a game of golf,
I leave the apparatus safe in charge of Mr. Rolph,
And Lincoln, too, in case you want a glass tube or a flash,
Will drop his work immediately and get you what you ask.
4. When I give a public lecture nothing ever does go wrong,
For Everett is always there to help the thing along,
And there, too, in the corner, with his visage wreathed in wmile,
Sits my other good assistant, the genial Mr. Hayles.
5. The people are delighted with the wondrous things we do,
But few have any notion that we’re such a jolly crew.
If some of them were here to-night I think we’d make it plain
We’re not all just as dry as dust at the lab. in Free School Lane!
A.A.R.
From The Post Prandial Proceedings of the Cavendish Physical Society (1911 fourth edition)
Saturday, 14 February 2009
Botany. The Professor's Love Story.
On a lovely summer day;
Walked a dainty little lady,
Airy, fairy, light and gay:
The Professor did address her,
(Such a learned man was he;)
First, the weather, then together
There they studied – Botany.
Sunny hours, ‘mid the flowers,
Modest violet, blushing rose;
Maiden yearning, man of learning,
Not so old as you’d suppose:
As he taught her, oft he thought her
Queen of roses, white or red;
And the maiden, knowledge laden,
Hung on every word he said.
Ere the summer days were ended
Many subjects studied they,
Till the two extremes were blended: -
He so grave, and she so gay:
To Matriculate she studied,
And his equal longed to be;
Well! she got as far as Matri-
But, ‘twas Matri-mony.
Arnold Beresford, 1909 (London: Novello and Company)
Friday, 6 February 2009
Take Away Your Billion Dollars

From all the land are men at hand, their wisdom to exchange.
"My friends," says he, "you all can see that physics now must change.
"Oh – it will cost a billion dollars, ten billion volts ‘twill give,
Our motto's integration, there is nothing left to chance.
And when the room is quiet and the crowd has ceased to cheer,
Within six months a mere 10,000 bucks is all I've spent.
"Oh – take away your billion dollars, take away your tainted gold.
For beware this epidemic, for colitis I beseech.
Monday, 26 January 2009
The Elements

Tune: "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General"
There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium,
And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium,
And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium,
Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium,
And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium,
And gold, protactinium and indium and gallium,
And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium.
There's yttrium, ytterbium, actinium, rubidium,
And boron, gadolinium, niobium, iridium,
And strontium and silicon and silver and samarium,
And bismuth, bromine, lithium, beryllium, and barium.
There's holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium,
And phosphorus and francium and fluorine and terbium,
And manganese and mercury, molybdenum, magnesium,
Dysprosium and scandium and cerium and cesium.
And lead, praseodymium, and platinum, plutonium,
Palladium, promethium, potassium, polonium,
And tantalum, technetium, titanium, tellurium,
And cadmium and calcium and chromium and curium.
There's sulfur, californium, and fermium, berkelium,
And also mendelevium, einsteinium, nobelium,
And argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc, and rhodium,
And chlorine, carbon, cobalt, copper, tungsten, tin, and sodium.
These are the only ones of which the news has come to Ha'vard,
And there may be many others, but they haven't been discavard.
Hear it here.
Updated: Another YouTube video, using Google Instant Search, is available here.
"Hail to the IBM" (The IBM Anthem)
Sing out in accents strong and true,
With hearts and hands to you devoted,
And inspiration ever new;
Your ties of friendship cannot sever,
Your glory time will never stem,
We will toast a name that lives forever,
Hail to the I.B.M.
Our voices swell in admiration;
Of T. J. Watson proudly sing;
He'll ever be our inspiration,
To him our voices loudly ring;
The I.B.M. will sing the praises,
Of him who brought us world acclaim,
As the volume of our chorus raises,
Hail to his honored name.
Hear it here.
Words by Fred W. Tappe; Music by Vittorio Giannini. Sung at the banquet of the 1938 Hundred Percent Club, May 4th, 1939. Further details here.
First and Second Law
He says, quite rightly, he says it's no good going up to a scientist and saying to him as you would to anybody else, you know, "good morning, how are you, lend me a quid" and so on, I mean he'll just glare at you or make a rude retort or something. No, you have to speak to him in language that he'll understand. I mean you go up to him and say something like, "Ah, H2SO4 Professor! Don't synthesize anything I wouldn't synthesize. Oh, and the reciprocal of pi to your good wife." Now, this he will understand.
Snow says that nobody can consider themselves educated who doesn't know at least the basic language of science. I mean things like Sir Edward Boyle's Law, for example - the greater the external pressure, the greater the volume of hot air. The simple . . . or . . . the Second Law of Thermodynamics, this is very important. I wasn't so much shocked the other day to discover that my partner not only doesn't know the Second Law, he doesn't even know the First Law of Thermodynamics!
Going back to first principles, very briefly: thermodynamics, of course, is derived from two Greek words, thermos, meaning hot - if you don't drop it - and dynamics, meaning dynamic, work; and thermodynamics is simply the science of heat and work, and the relationships between the two as laid down in the Laws of Thermodynamics, which may be expressed in the following simple terms - after me, Donald.
The First law of Thermodynamics.
Heat is work and work is heat
Heat is work and work is heat
Very Good.
The Second law of thermodynamics.
Heat cannot of itself pass from one body to a hotter body
Heat cannot of itself pass from one body to a hotter body
Heat won't pass from a cooler to a hotter
Heat won't pass from a cooler to a hotter
You can try it if you like but you'd far better not-a
You can try it if you like but you'd far better not-a
'Cos the cold in the cooler will get hotter as a rule-a
'Cos the cold in the cooler will get hotter as a rule-a
'Cos the hotter body's heat will pass to the cooler
'Cos the hotter body's heat will pass to the cooler
Heat is work and work is heat and work is heat and heat is work
Heat will pass by conduction and
Heat will pass by conduction and
Heat will pass by convection and
Heat will pass by convection and
Heat will pass by radiation
Heat will pass by radiation
And that's a physical law
Heat is work and work's a curse
And all the heat in the universe
Is gonna cool down,
'Cos it can't increase
Then there'll be no more work
And there'll be perfect peace
Really?
Yeah, that's entropy, Man.
And all because of the second law of thermodynamics which lays down:
That you can't pass heat from a cooler to a hotter
Try it if you like but you'd far better not-a
'Cos the cold in the cooler will get hotter as a rule-a
'Cos the hotter body's heat will pass to the cooler
Oh, you can't pass heat from a cooler to a hotter
Try it if you like but you'll only look a fool-a
'Cos the cold in the cooler will get hotter as a rule-a
And that's a physical law
Oh, I'm hot
That's because you've been working!
Oh, Beatles, nothing!
That's the first and second laws of thermodynamics.
From: Flanders and Swann, At the Drop of Another Hat
"Ions Mine"
I. In the dusty lab’ratory,
‘Mid the coils and wax and twine,
There the atoms in their glory
Ionise and recombine.
Chorus.
Oh my darlings! Oh my darlings!
Oh my darling ions mine!
You are lost and gone for ever
When just once you recombine!
2. In a tube quite electrodeless,
They discharge around a line,
And the glow they leave behind them
Is quite corking for a time.
3. And with quite a small expansion,
1.8 or 1.9,
You can get a cloud delightful,
Which explains both snow and rain.
4. In the weird magnetic circuit
See how lovingly they twine,
As each ion describes a spiral
Round its own magnetic line.
5. Ultra-violet radiation
From the arc or glowing lime,
Soon discharges a conductor
If it’s charged with minus sign.
6. α rays from radium bromide
Cause a zinc-blende screen to shine,
Set it glowing, clearly showing
Scintillations all the time.
7. Radium bromide emanation,
Rutherford did first divine,
Turns to helium, then Sir William
Got the spectrum – every line.
From The Post Prandial Proceedings of the Cavendish Physical Society (1911 fourth edition)